Cass.

I am ignorance Vision like a tunnel Hearing spanning a radius of two feet I am unaware of the dangers That exist around me I am comfort Or the relentless absence of I am your intuitive instinct Red flags that make you rethink I beg you to listen to me I am fear Shaking first …

BPD Splitting Episodes and Honesty.

I have been suffering from a huge loss of my self-perception for the past year. I have known it all this time but as I sit here and mindfully choose to create this post, it is dawning on me how evident this loss has been since I have been afraid to be honest and blunt …

Remnants of a monster.

Shovel in tow I breathe now only to bury what I have done.Masking my footprints of sot with debilitating liesJustifying ignorance for the very last timeI have been caught by my conscienceand wish to resign.CMC

When all else fails…

Choose honesty. Choose love. Choose gratitude. Let's start with honesty.All else failed for me this morning. I was in that robotic condition that gives me the chills just to acknowledge. That robotic state reminds me just how easy it is to surrender all my control to my anxious thoughts and it makes me afraid. I …

Note to self.

Just because I haven't lost weight in a while doesn't mean I haven't successfully maintained my current weight. I lost 85 pounds in less than two years and have kept it off for one. I am beautiful, though most evidently when I accept myself as I am. A perfectly imperfect being, overflowing with pain and …

Failure.

Composed by my yesterdaysI vigorously paint my tomorrows,staining my mind with ruby red.Hide it all, I willFestering in fear I wish to killeach dreadful thought in my cognitive dungeon of dread.

Detoxifying.

The innate part of my brain wishes to simply declare what an atrocity this week has been. However, to no surprise, my resilient and progressive brain wishes to build myself up. Certainly, this has been an exceptionally challenging week due to a very scary and seemingly out-of-the-blue medical issue. While there is no need for …

Pause.

I finally have a moment. My room is rearranged, though even that was done in a rush just like all the other things accomplished throughout my days. Breathe; I finally may. I sit in here in silence - a solemn peace I've almost forgotten. It feels oddly nice to hear natural noises around me at …

Libra.

Pink. All I see around me is pink; I love it. I am home. I am in my safe spot. I am in my room. Even better, my love just called me as I finished typing the last sentence. He, too, is my home; my safe spot. Today is my birthday. It is 5:29PM and …